Recently we had our hungry little man weighed in. He gave us a surprise. During the first week of his life, he lost too much weight. Ever since, he has gained too much.

We’re in no danger of raising a ‘chuffer’, though: the weight gain is well within healthy limits. Due to pack on a minimum of 20g per day, Jasper’s managing 42g or more.

It wouldn’t surprise me if we were losing weight at about the same rate. Even without the energy-sapping breaks in our sleep, there’s all the extra trips up and down stairs, sometimes with the 4.3-kilo handicap of our son beneath one of our overworked arms.

Keen for Carolina to sleep, I try to prevent Jasper from crying for his food. (Though in his little world, he probably imagines he’s singing for his supper.) This means holding him until the bottle is ready to stuff into his mouth.

Tasks like unscrewing the lid of a plastic bottle or filling the kettle are a whole new challenge. Attempted with one hand instead of two, making yourself a slice of toast (never mind eating it) takes on Herculean proportions. Now I realise what mothers mean when they talk about juggling tasks.

Being an Internet freak, figuring out a way to feed Jasper and surf (or play online poker) at the same time was vital. I’ve found a position on my lap with him sitting facing the monitor, with my left forearm supporting his torso and the wrist bending back to hold the bottle in place. It hurts, but it works.

I’d hoped that he’d absorb some of the computer skills he’ll need later on in life. More often than not, I find him staring up at me with a look in his eyes. “Should have folded that pair of tens, Dad,” he seems to be advising... Sleep well.

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