Baby proof
I suppose I should stop talking about Jasper being a baby
and start referring to him as a little boy.
It’s hard though: he still doesn’t talk, still needs diapers and help being fed, still has trouble understanding why Daddy is allowed to play with a computer, but he is not supposed to touch.
The little man walks almost exclusively now. Crawling is simply a break from the balancing and staggering about, zombie-like, that constitutes his standard form of movement. We are also seeing some breakthroughs in the language department, which is exciting.
Jasper understands basic commands. Not that he needs much encouragement, but “Go and get Daddy a book” usually results in a positive outcome (though if I have to read Where The Wild Things Are more than twice a day, Max begins to wear a distinctly sarcastic tone to match his wolf suit).
Either of his parents being still for any length of time results in Jasper bringing over a book for us to read to him, but he understands the request when he hears it.
He’s also figured out that “Look”, accompanied by a pointing finger, doesn’t mean we want him to study our hands. He gets that there’s something farther away that requires attention. Even a raccoon walking through the garden will catch his eye, as long as we point it out to him first.
It’s about now that we realise the truth about ‘baby-proof’ products. Many toys and books come with printed warnings about the minimum age they are recommended for (probably to avoid lawsuits), but there is a select group of supposedly baby-proof items available.
Among these are books, more like gigantic stacks of thick cardboard with printing on, which is great. Until you allow your child free reign to abuse them as he sees fit.
Truth is, nothing is baby-proof. Factor in repetitive stress (constant throwing and flexing), food stress (dribble, vomit and lunch) and parent stress (tripping over stuff in the dark) and almost anything is destructible.
Apart from the multi-coloured plastic hoopla rings by Fisher Price. Those will be around long after life as planet Earth knows it has ended. They will be the dominant species, and appear on ‘Hooprah’ chat shows celebrating their reunited families of five rings with one central post, applauded by an audience of enthusiastic, softly weeping, overweight plastic accessories.
You heard it here first! Sleep well.
