Not the best time to mishear a request

Dear Father Ashley,

I was sitting at a bar the other day when this couple wandered in. He was about 6ft 7 and built like the proverbial outside convenience, while she was drop dead gorgeous.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, he asked if I'd like to poke her. At least that's what I thought he had asked and I eagerly accepted his kind invitation and layed his lady across the bar in front of me. It was only afterwards when he smacked seven bells out of me that I realised my mistake and that he was in fact asking me for a game of POKER!

Father Ashley, what can I do to prevent some similar mishap befalling me again?

Yours faithfully,


Dear Brother Giles,

Ah. You have fallen for a classic trap. The maxim, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is" applies here (as anybody who's sent good money to a water filter company on the basis of winning a flat-screen TV in a prize draw can testify to).

In poker terms, it's like your opponent betting $25 into a $400 pot. You KNOW he wants you to call. Calling with a weak hand here is throwing good money after bad.

I'd ask for any future suspect transactions to be suggested in writing, and only add that such a loose woman would probably have lost her wad at the poker table long before you'd have lost yours.

Father Ashley

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