Absolute beginner? Come to the COTH Poker School
Learning
the basics of poker isn't easy. but the Church of Texas Holdem will
take you by the hand and lead you through the painful process, step by
step.
Click here to begin!
Learn
poker with live Texas Holdem lessons!
You should
sharpen up your game and make it more profitable than ever! Hire Father
Ashley for LIVE
online poker lessons. Starting from just $10! See
what customers have said about this service:
"When I played online, I consistently lost money.
Hundreds of dollars gone. After consulting with Father Ashley, I really
started to see some of the holes in my playing style. He was friendly
and welcoming of all my questions, a born teacher and eager to share
his advice. Admittedly, I lost another $40 while playing with Father
Ashley when all of my straight and flush draws consistently missed. He
assured me that this was just a fluke, though. And he was right. Since
my session with Father Ashley, I have more than made back both my
losses during the session as well as the hundreds of dollars I had lost
up until that point. All of this as a result of a one hour session with
him. Just one hour."
- Matt, CA
One-on-one
priestly sessions
and holy underpants...
Dear Father Ashley,
I've
just read the About the
Church section on your website and discovered you are not a real
priest! I'm distraught. I have burned all my poker books and have
turned to Satan.
Why did thou foresake thee Father
Ashley?
Yours faithfully,
Terrance
Dear Brother Terrance,
Let's get something straight. I am as much
a Priest as any other person in any other religion has a right to be
addressed so.
The Church of Texas Holdem is unique. It's
the only poker religion on the planet! That means we don't
answer to anybody and nobody can tell us what to do.
There's no huge Holy guy to smite
me if I upset him; no clown in a coloured bathrobe and a big pointy hat
to send Holy police around to feel my white collar.
Your choice to burn your poker books is an
interesting one. Certainly I would have suggested recycling them at the
very least.
Satan is as Satan does. You may find your
short-term luck with drawing hands improves. I hope it works out for
you.
Meanwhile, if you still require salvation,
come back to the Church of Texas Holdem. Who knows, if enough people
are upset about it, I might ordain myself one day!
Father
Ashley
Want
to write to Father Ashley? Click here for Letters, Pray!
